Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he's played with you, too, eh?
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
I'm not a bad putter...
I just can't catch a break.
Wife: I'm sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
If you golf on election day...
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
What is a golfer's favorite dance move?
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
What do golf and sex have in common?
They're two things you can enjoy even if you're bad at both of them.
Why didn't the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn't stop puttering around.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?