Baseball Puns

Us baseball players know our way around the bases.

You're like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.

If you were a reliever, I'd sign you up to a three-year contract with a vesting option

Can you tame my diamondback? Everybody else has.

Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.

Baseball players have to stay in line or they will be afoul of the rules.

Ok, strike that.

Can I pinch hit on you?

Roz also said she'd contribute. Is Roz in?

Our high school math teacher moonlights by selling concessions at local baseball games. He is a true ballpark figure.

Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle

Plus, his speeches haven't changed. He's on the campaign trail today, and made a short stop to deliver a speech. Same pitch as usual.

Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends?
They're great at hitting it off.

How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.

Why don't baseball players join unions?
Because they don't like to be called out on strikes.